Sunday, May 1, 2011

For the love of a binky

I have been planning to write this post for a long time now. I took these pictures earlier this month and this subject has been in my thoughts for a long time now. For those of you who know Jaden well you know that he has many passions in life; going to the park, singing with every ounce of his being and body, expressing his thoughts with high drama, carbohydrates, and his cousin, Jacob, to just name a few. None of these can compare, however, to the love and devotion he has had for his binky (or binkies!) I still remember the day we met Jaden. We had been playing with him for a while when I asked the foster mother if he used one as I hadn't seen one anywhere. Her answer: Oooooooh yes. Jaden's binkies were always much more than a 'pacifiing' device but more like friends. As a lot of kids are, Jaden is pretty hyper sensitive to a lot of things. If he either likes the feeling of something or doesn't, those standing within earshot will know. At every mealtime we are guarenteed a scream and an emptying out of the mouth of something that isn't quite the texture he was expecting. Then, of course there are textures he loves, like satin on a blankie or the top of his binkie. Before we started to run out of binkies Jaden would always sleep with 3 binkies, one in his mouth and one in each hand that he would hold and then circle his thumbs around there circular handle part. After we limited the binky to naps and bedtime (about 18 months), he would always make this sort of anticipatory sound of satisfaction when he knew the binkies were about to be popped into his mouth.
About a month or so ago we had a sleep over with Jaden's cousin, Madison. We decided to buy a couple of movies for the event, one being, Mr Magoriums Wonder Emporium. Great movie and a great way to start to talk with Jaden about the eventual passing of his binkies. The same day we bought the movie, we purchased his last two binkies as he had chewed the others to shreds. If you haven't seen the movie, it's a great one with a very unique and somewhat eclectic charachter named Mr. Magorium played by Dustin Hoffman. He is supposedly 100's of years old. Many many years ago he went to Italy and found the 'perfect' pair of shoes and bought all they had, vowing that when he burned through the last pair that would signify the end of his life. When his final pair of shoes wore out he would leave this world and have to pass on his magical toystore to someone else. The binkies we bought that day were Jaden's last pair of 'perfect' shoes minus the whole death part! We told him that when those wore out that he would be done with binkies and that he could go to Target and turn in his binkies for something he wanted. You know, like all the other kids who use binkies! Little did I know that this rather dramatic 'passing off of the torch' that I had pictured in my hand at the check out at Target would be a very boring and uneventful thing that I wasnt' even a part of!
A week and a half ago, we had some sickness in our family. Mackenna had a touch of the flu which she generously shared with me. It was this fateful day that marked the end of the binkies for our dear binky-lover. I was sick in bed and Brett was taking over the bedtime routine for me as I laid there feeling like death warmed over. He went to grab Jaden's binkies and discovered that during his nap he had chewed the final one leaving it not entirely safe to leave in his mouth during the night. He made the decision to take it away and I was too sick to really care so take it away, he did. I was expecting a HUGE and I mean HUGE fight to ensue. He could certainly win an Oscar for anyone of his ten temper tantrums he graces us with each day, so I was expecting a major performance. Nothing.... Not. One. Cry.....Not. One. Whimper....Not. One. Toy. Thrown...
And then he woke up the next morning and hurled his cookies all over his bed and we were in for a two day stint of the stomach flu. My first thought was WHY OH WHY did he have to chew that last binky. When Jaden is sick he definitely needs that extra TLC and all available comfort items. However, he amazed me again. He only asked about his binky once during that whole time he spent in bed.
A week and a half later Jaden has only asked for them a couple of times but that doesn't mean he hasn't missed them. It has been a very challenging week as he no longer has his major self-soothing tool. His behavior has been horrendeous. His drama has multiplied times ten, which is mostly displayed in bouts of crying and all-out temper tantrums. He has also been having some more eating issues. Yes, if you can imagine, even more than before, which equals BAD. I hope as more time passes he learns other ways to soothe himself so that we can ditch all this drama as in the last couple of days he has passed on some of his technique to his sister.
So, there you go... LOOOOOOOONG story short. Binky Gone.


  1. Way to go Jaden! Without a fight at all? Maybe being sick actually helped!

    Regardless, it's awesome that he's done with it, and I LOVE those photos.